Your Parenting Matters

I recently went on a photographic safari to Kenya and Tanzania. My husband and I met a British woman in France who had spent many years in Africa and so loves the country, she takes every opportunity to visit. She jumps at the chance to plan a trip for people who have never been. It quickly became apparent to us to accept her generous offer of making all the plans for a trip of a lifetime.

I suppose I could write pages about the trip, the people and the impact the country had on all of us from the United States. But, one of the most meaningful things that I took away from the trip, was how few material things one needs to have a life with an abundance of spirit. When you come from a country where you can get anything you want just about anytime day or night, it is difficult to comprehend how people can be happy and demonstrate ‘la joie de vie’ without cool clothes, SUV’s or fast food.

I was struck by the fact that while people are poor they are not living in poverty as we would describe it in the west. After spending several weeks in Africa, it became clear that most of the people we saw were living a substandard quality of life but they were not living in poverty. No matter how isolated or lacking a village appeared to be, there was commerce, lively conversation, industriousness, happy children and an acceptance that is rare to see.

Of course the children are often the barometers of a culture. From a distance, the children playing outside of their homes and schools looked well but upon closer inspection, were truly impoverished. However, not the way they interacted with us. Big smiles, inquisitiveness and friendly curiosity were the order of the day. No embarrassment or shame at their ragged clothes, missing buttons or shoes that we would not consider even dropping off at the salvation army.

We visited villages where there were no toys or play apparatus for the toddlers. Gifts of paper and colored pens were accepted as if they were gold. But no matter the conditions that we found the children in, they were happy and gracious.

It gave me pause to think how much many of the children in the west have so much and often feel entitled to more. How many parents are stressed to the max to provide birthday parties for 3 year olds that cost more than some vacations! That you often see children in restaurants who have no patience to wait quietly for their food to arrive but must insist on making their parents and everyone around them miserable with whining and demands. What parents in the west do is provide things for their children.

Not that things are inherently bad but I would like to see more parents give of their time and attention to their children. To stop the flow of material things and encourage the flow of being with their children. No amount of things can replace time spent with your children.

Traveling supplies one with an opportunity to see the contrast of cultures we visit and take what is good home and apply those things in our own families and communities. Children are precious the world over. None however as precious as yours.