Your Parenting Matters

I was at lunch the other day, when a young couple sat down with their infant daughter. She was probably around 3 months old and sitting happily in her car seat while her parents looked over the menu in preparation for ordering. They were obviously smitten with this new addition and it was fun to watch them take such pleasure in their little one. Until…mom decided to give baby some water from a bottle. Baby clearly didn’t want it. A few minutes later, dad decided to give it a try. Now, I could see him directly. Baby turned her head from side to side as dad tried to get her to take the bottle. He was talking to mom and basically was ignoring baby’s signals that she did not want the bottle. This went on longer than was comfortable for me! Finally, she started to wail. Mom got into the act now, got up and started to comfort baby, who was now making a scene in the restaurant. It was clear that baby’s parents created this change from happy and contented to angry and upset, by not paying attention.

So, what can we learn here? From infancy, children are able let you know how they feel and what they need. Parents need to learn to tune into the signals their children are giving them even before they can talk and continue to listen and respond as their children grow. The message sent to the child in a respectful interaction is that you are important and loved.

I was at lunch the other day, when a young couple sat down with their infant daughter. She was probably around 3 months old and sitting happily in her car seat while her parents looked over the menu in preparation for ordering. They were obviously smitten with this new addition and it was fun to watch them take such pleasure in their little one. Until…mom decided to give baby some water from a bottle. Baby clearly didn’t want it. A few minutes later, dad decided to give it a try. Now, I could see him directly. Baby turned her head from side to side as dad tried to get her to take the bottle. He was talking to mom and basically was ignoring baby’s signals that she did not want the bottle. This went on longer than was comfortable for me! Finally, she started to wail. Mom got into the act now, got up and started to comfort baby, who was now making a scene in the restaurant. It was clear that baby’s parents created this change from happy and contented to angry and upset, by not paying attention.

So, what can we learn here? From infancy, children are able let you know how they feel and what they need. Parents need to learn to tune into the signals their children are giving them even before they can talk and continue to listen and respond as their children grow. The message sent to the child in a respectful interaction is that you are important and loved.