Your Parenting Matters

What could be more incredible than witnessing the birth of a baby? Witnessing the birth of your grandson. This little baby was my third grandchild and the miracle of birth is not diminished in how many times you get to witness one.

My youngest daughter decided to have her first baby at a birthing center instead of the hospital. A courageous choice because that decision means no medication of any kind during labor.

Only a couple of weeks after our trip to Africa, we welcomed this child into our family. A child who now it seems, has always been here. Each time one of my grandchildren graced us with their presence, I got to re-experience life’s unlimited potential to express itself through each one. What will they bring to the world, what will we give to them?

What a privilege it is to be entrusted with a new life. So vulnerable, so trusting, so needy. What parents must be able to do in order to provide for a newborn. The ability to put their own adult needs aside for a time and be available no matter what to the call of a new baby. What maturity, what kind of support system is required, what kind of commitment is made to attend to a new life?

What a joy it was to watch these new parents mold themselves into this new role they created for themselves. Confusing, frustrating, uncertain, yes. But made easier with love and their desire to be parents to this little boy.

When your baby has a baby, it is a unique experience unlike any other. To be included in the birth and in the days afterward to help guide and support is a something I will always treasure.

There is a continuity that doesn’t come around often enough in our culture. That of passing along information to another generation. Those first days of showing my daughter and her husband how to bathe and diaper the baby were pure joy. Answering their questions, soothing their concerns. Remembering how my own mother helped me and now I am doing the same.

And how wonderful it was that the new parents were so accepting of my experience and help. There is no greater joy than to have your children respect and welcome your advice and support.

I am clear that the relationship I have with my daughters is the result of the parenting style that I used to raise them. Although I was divorced from their father when they were young children, we have a family based on mutual respect, cooperation and love. We are not a perfect family, just one that works!